Hatchetgabby

I couldn't possibly describe how much i wish i could just sleep like a normal fuckin' person sometimes.....all the time. You feel like you're in some episode of The twilight zone,like no one in the world exists but you,you're the fool/the joke who's still awake. And for what purpose? To be so tired you can't function properly enough to complete or even start a task that may justify your being awake? While also being too awake,too aware of the buzzing in my brain of the things that have happened in life or even things that have yet to come,that may never even come,that simply don't even matter. When my mind releases me and a i drift away,the nightmares come, and i run in my dreams for hours, typically waking up periodically to the heavy beating of my heart or the urge to scream that i cant fulfill while asleep. When i wake,though i may have slept hours i more often than not feel as though i've run a marathon...a horrific marathon. Sometimes i forget who i am momentarily and where i am,or i question if i'm awake. It's not uncommon that i dream i've woken up when i'm sleeping,but usually i "wake up" paralyzed and when i try to move but can't i panic until my heart wakes me. Atleast i don't sleep walk anymore like when i was a child. lol